Settling back in....

It's been over two months since I've left Costa Rica and my DTS family. After such a return culture shock it's difficult to feel adjusted and back to “normal.” But honestly, I hope and pray that I will never feel “normal” again. As life passes by, we gain more experience and perspective, and it should be a priority to never let those things fade. I never want to be complacent and say I'm exactly the same as I was a year ago. Because that would mean I didn't take risks, face challenges, or let God stretch my character...which DEFINITELY happened every day during my DTS. And even though the memories will fade, they will never go away. In fact, many are captured-either in my journals, through pictures, or resonating strongly in my heart.
Seeing my mom, dad, and brother waiting for me at the airport was an incredible feeling. A mixture of excitement, relief, emotion, and familiarity. Within a few days, it felt as though I had never left them, and I realized how precious those relationships are-the ones where you can pick up EXACTLY where you left off, without skipping a beat. I'm very fortunate to have several of those relationships in my life, and I cherish them even more after my trip.
One experience I remember vividly is the day after I returned home. I went to Trader Joe's with my mom and when we walked inside I kind of went numb. I felt like I was in a movie, when everyone is hustling by and you're frozen, standing in the middle of a blur. I wasn't sure whether I felt nauseous, breathless, exhausted, or all three. But coming from living in a thatched hut without electricity and bathing in the river to a wealthy society during the peak season of consumerism was overwhelming, to put it mildly. I'm much more adapted now, obviously you adjust to your surroundings over time, but it's still a concept that blows me away. I was living in such “limited” conditions, according to many views, but I was FINE. In fact, I was happy. More relaxed and alive than I've ever felt. Since returning, a lot of people have asked me if I saw a lot of poverty. But the truth is, it's all relative. Yes, I saw and lived with communities without electricity, a flushing toilet, cell phones, cars, etc...but who's to say that makes them poor? They were doing just fine. It made me think of all the things I claim to “need.”
Having said all that, I am glad to be home. I understand how blessed America is, and how much I have to be grateful for here. It's just difficult to live such a contrasting life and not feel conflicted. But that's another one of those things I'm glad to have-conflicted feelings. I don't want to get so comfortable that I never strive to better myself or my surroundings. I never want to feel like I understand life, or God, because that's a scary place to be. I always want to be growing and be challenged and be conflicted. Because amidst all of those emotions is a person who is truly living. I always want to be that person.
As far as next steps have gone, I'm back in Roseville and working part time at Original Pete's-a restaurant I've worked at for 8 years now. I moved out with my dear friend Nicole, into an apartment near the mall. Recently, I've gotten connected with a woman, Heather Penny, who is starting a women's group/ministry called Les Femmes. It is a community for women to discover their unique giftings and creativeness. Through many mediums like art, poetry, discussion, and whatever else comes us, we will learn to grow closer to God and support each other during the process. Heather has asked me to be her partner in this whole thing, and we are in the process of launching this vision of hers. My tasks at the moment are to create a website, design the “face” of Les Femmes, start brainstorming ideas of opportunities, and help begin a small group. I'm SO excited and thrilled that I have this opportunity which combines several of my passions into one position. It's a volunteer position and so I will still keep my job at the restaurant, to sustain my income. Prayers would be very appreciated for this new and different ministry!
I miss Costa Rica. I miss the friends I made, the family we created, and the beauty I saw. But I know that God is continuing to bring beauty and excitement into my life in all sorts of ways, that's just the kind of God He is. I'm looking forward to what's ahead and where He takes me. I will keep you updated on Les Femmes and where it's headed, but until then...

Blessings,
Melissa